Soup Nazi

I couldn’t stand Seinfeld, but it had one good bit: I loved the Soup Nazi*.

For those not in the loop, Soup Nazi had a lunch counter in Manhattan with the best soup all the land. The line for his soup wrapped around the block - but he ran the place like an assembly line. The rules went something like:

1. Form one line.
2. When it is your turn, step up to the counter.
3. Place your order quickly and succinctly. No questions are allowed. No delays are tolerated.
4. Step down the counter. Have your money ready.
5. Pay the guy.
6. Receive your order and step out of the way.

If you messed up any part of the procedure, Soup Nazi would shout, “No soup for you!” and you would not be served.

The schtick was the soup was so good that everyone put up with the guy. And then the girl, Elaine, decided it was just wrong and she was going to teach him a lesson or get revenge or something. Whatever – I was bored again before it all unfolded. What I thought was:

No! I would eat there because of the Soup Nazi. Because he has rules. And kicks out the Bad People!

As I stood in line at Wendy’s listening to a lady making her second call to the office to clarify an order, (“Wendy’s doesn’t sell fish, what else do you want?”) I was wishing for the Soup Nazi.



*The term “Soup Nazi” came directly from the show, so don’t go hassling me about how it isn’t PC.